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Rat44
07-25-2008, 01:46 PM
Copied from a forum I frequent.
Hope they don't mind.
Just something to make your day go better.

"They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor.
She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back ...same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail

I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one-get-one-free," she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.

They Walk Among Us!

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?"


They Walk Among Us!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff."

They Walk Among Us!!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the c all center was open. I told him, "The number you u dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.


They Walk Among Us!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They Walk Among Us!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?"

They Walk Among Us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man Ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked Him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

Yep, They Walk Among Us!

They Walk Among Us, and They Reproduce!"
By Kool Aid Kid

Manalog
07-25-2008, 03:03 PM
Hilarious!! :-oo:-oo:-oo

retrokeeper
07-25-2008, 03:32 PM
I like the dead bird one.....priceless!! Rob

Fast Forward
07-25-2008, 05:06 PM
Those are Classics,,I like the one about the guy who goes to Taco Bell and pays for his order with a 2.00 bill,and the clerk wouldn,t accept it and called the police because he thought it was counterfeit

MacGyver
07-25-2008, 05:34 PM
:-oo:-oo:-oo:-oo

Acoustic
07-25-2008, 07:38 PM
Some good laughs there!:D Hope your brother didn't buy a house from that realitor!

Des-Lab
07-25-2008, 08:50 PM
That whole thing with the pizza actually happened to me once. Back in '93, when I was working at a local Pizza Hut delivery outlet, someone called and asked just that.

"How many slices come on a medium"?

"Eight".


Well I can't eat 8 slices of pizza. Can you cut it into four"?

"No problem sir. Anything you want."

Another genius once called me up and asked "How much is a large Meat Lovers Deluxe?"

Legitimate question.

I responded "Fifteen ninety-nine".

"And if I used a three dollar off coupon....?"

Oh those were some fun times. I could fill an entire board just on the dealings I've had with the public over the years.

stuwee
07-25-2008, 09:27 PM
I'll start some good ol' fashioned redneck "There's Your Sign"(s) tomorrow, I gotta clean this here keyboard thingie :D:p

stuwee
07-26-2008, 07:25 AM
This is cribbed from Brett Butler's comedy act, and just from memory,so..."I went to the mall with my sister and nephew, and ya'll don't think Christmas is commercial enough right? Well this happened last September, all the trimmin's were on display, The Manger scene, how can I put this nicely, well there was the wisemen, the cute little animals, Joesph, Mary, and of course, the cute little baby Jesus. There was also a lot of fake snow around the scene. This was in Atlanta folksin September ;)'s at audience. Now someone musta thought it didn't look busy enough 'cuz they put this huge 29foot tall candycane over the scene?? My nephew was leanin' on it, I saw the bottom of it breakin' away, but, hey, he's not my kid, and I was bored, so the candycane snaps off and cuts the head of the cute little baby Jesus off and it rolls into J C Pennys, and I kid you not, this woman vapor locks (Brett can hardly continue at this point) and she yells ""Don't no one touch it, that is sacred that is Holy"" well there's this guy tryin' on womens underwear in the changeing room, hey, he's not hurtin' anybody, and the head of the cute little baby Jesus rolls under the door, (shes really tryin' to get through this part now) Don't ya'll think that changed his life?!?"